And It's Not What You Wanted
by eyeslikeashowroom
Summary: Nate's not satisfying Blair, so she runs to someone else; Chuck. Blair/Chuck.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, just a really quick one. Had the urge to write Chuck/Blair! Not sure if it's gonna stay a oneshot or if I should add more. Let me know! Thanks:)

Blair breathes in deeply, her inhale startling loud in the thick silence of the night. Her hand reaches up and feverishly cups the scruffy cheek pressed against her neck.

"Not here," she whispers quickly, because they're in the park and despite the fact that night is rapidly falling, it's still a public place, and Blair isn't one for necking in public.

Chuck glances up at her with a devilish smile, his hand sliding roughly down her front until it grasps her thigh. "Why?" He asks it simply, and Blair is almost annoyed. He knows why.

"Not where everyone can see us. Let's go somewhere else."

Chuck continues to nip at her neck, not paying heed to her words. "Your penthouse is too far away, and the hotel is as well. I want this now." He looks at her, sharp dark eyes meeting secretive chocolate ones. "I want _you_ now."

"Serena's is just around the corner. We have the key to get in," Blair breathes out, and she knows that it's risky and inappropriate, but Serena told her earlier she was going out for a bit and Blair is almost bursting with the desire to have Chuck. Chuck grasps her by the arm and yanks her up (and Blair doesn't care that it's roughly), and in a rush they are in a taxi on the way to Serena's, which is so nearby they didn't need a taxi in the first place.

It's a flurry of groping and pushing as they get into the elevator and up to S's floor, bursting out of the elevator. Blair stumbles on her heels, calling out for Serena and Lily as her and Chuck move towards Serena's bedroom. Hearing no answer, she lets her lips fall back on Chuck's with a groan.

"Serena's bed?" she asks as Chuck reaches to turn the knob. "That's a little too much, even for me."

Chuck has no problem taking control (which is exactly why she loves him), and he pushes her down on the bed, standing over her. "It's either here, or the floor. For some reason I figured you'd prefer here."

His voice is like chocolate, warm and dripping and _delicious_. Blair moans as she looks at him and he looks at her, wanting him to ravish her and use her and make sure that they're both immensely satisfied when they're done.

He always does.

Blair watches as Chuck unzips his pants, licking her lips and _waiting_ for him, to see him. She's not in the mood for anything other than him pounding into her, and that's what he does, slow and graceful, and _hard_.

She's having trouble holding in the sounds she wants to explode with, but Blair's never acted incredibly wanton and she sure as hell won't now.

She wants to call him Nate. Rather, she wishes Nate could do this, could be this. But he can't, (or he won't, whichever), and it's his fault that Blair has to crawl to Chuck every night and see to it that she gets some release.

It's all Nate's fault really.

She's coming all too quickly, Chuck's unwavering persistence and stamina already forcing her to orgasm. She glances up at Chuck, notes how Chuck seems a lot more focused on the sex, while Nate will smile at her and say how much he loves her. He'll touch her face and kiss her so softly she has to strain to feel it, but it's wonderful. It makes her sad for a second, but then she remembers.

She doesn't come here for love.

This is her and Chuck's dirty little secret. Blair always feels tainted when she leaves after one of their meetings, but it's worth getting what she needs after a long day with Nate. This makes her feel gross and dirty and slimy, but with some heavy scrubbing in the shower she almost feels okay again. She hopes this doesn't last long, hopes she has the strength to end it so that she doesn't have to hurt Nate anymore than she has already.

As long as this stays a secret, she can keep herself together when she thinks about it.

Chuck grunts and then he's coming.

He forgets to pull out.

He forgets to pull out and he's not wearing a condom.

He forgets to pull out and he's not wearing a condom and all Blair can think is _shit_ and quickly calculate when she's due for her next period and maybe she can get an abortion if she does get pregnant as long as nobody finds out about this because how desperate do you have to be to sleep with Chuck Bass and _oh shit _this has to stay a secret…

"Oh, my God."

Blair turns, her eyes catching blonde hair before she quickly closes them.

_Fuck. _

Serena always had a habit of turning up at the wrong time.


	2. Chapter 2

**For the record: I don't hate Chuck. Or Blair/Chuck. Or Twilight. ;D**

"I'm gonna back out slowly now," Serena mutters, "and pretend that I hallucinated this because I'm drunk as fuck on vodka."

Chuck licks his lips, sneering down at Blair with an expression that makes her want to reach up and slap it off his face. "Come in if you wish."

"Believe me, I don't-"

"Why are you here, Serena?" Blair's voice rings out loudly. She tries to inject some authority into her tone, which is especially hard considering she's laying on her back with tousled hair, smeared lipstick, and lower half completely open for the taking.

"Gee, I don't know," snaps Serena, straining from looking at Blair's partial indecency, because she'd already glanced reflexively when she'd first walked in, and she now felt promptly gay. "Maybe I'm here because this where I live? Why are _you _here?" She glances at Chuck disgustedly, who is still grinning and wiggling his eyebrows up and down like an idiot. "Besides _that_ reason."

"We were at the park and needed a convenient place for our...activities." Serena flinches at Chuck's words.

"Would you excuse us for a moment, Bass," Blair says, a command more than a request.

"I guess," Chuck says, reluctantly pulling his pants back up and zipping them "And I'd love to come back in after Blair recovers, and…you know… but you both have to be willing, because I've already gotten charged by some bullshit bar-slut who-"

"Get _out_, Chuck," says Serena loudly, stepping forward and kicking the bass-tard in the shin.

Chuck shoots her a look as he hobbles out. "It's not like you've never wanted it!" he shouts as Serena spins and slams the door in his face.

"I need to talk to you," Blair says from where she is still laying on the bed, glassy eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Could you please…uh… fix yourself first?" Serena asks, politely averting her eyes as Blair mutters a quick apology and yanks up her skirt. Once she's sure that the brunette is decent, Serena goes and sits on the bed next to her best friend, biting her lip as she watches Blair smooth out her hair.

"Why the hell are you having sex with Chuck Bass?" she probes gently, reaching out and grasping Blair's fingers to still them from their nervous rearranging of the brunette's blouse.

Bair really wants to lie to Serena. She really wants to say, _"Oops, I didn't mean for that to happen. Tripped and fell on the bed, you know. And you know how Chuck is. That rascal." _But she can't because S is smarter than she acts and a hell of a lot more observant (when she wants to be), and she knows that this wasn't an accident, and Blair had wanted it and _liked_ it.

"I…" She's not sure what to say. She's afraid that telling Serena about how Nate can't give her what she needs will make her seem pathetic and inadequate. Serena gets the sex she desires, so why shouldn't Blair? "Nate is… he can't…"

"Nate isn't a disgusting asshole, so you have to find someone that is?" Serena guesses confused. "Nate's a great guy, B." She stares at Blair with an expression that's solemn and reprimanding at the same time, and it makes Blair feel just how she thought she'd feel: stupid and desperate.

"Nate just can't give me what I need." She mutters, turning away from the blonde so she doesn't have to see Serena's face anymore. She stares at the pictures Serena still has hanging on her walls, the pictures of times when it was simpler, boys had cooties, and people didn't cry because they weren't having mind-blowing sex.

Blair doesn't know why Serena keeps those pictures up, because life isn't like that for them anymore.

"You're willing to break Nate's heart because you don't like the way he makes love to you?" Serena questions, and Blair hears the disappointment in her voice. "You'd rather have _Chuck _doing it?

"We don't make love, we just fuck," Blair blurts out impulsively, and then she wants to reach up and strangle herself. _Way to dig the hole deeper. _

"Wow. The more reason to stay with _Nate_, who _loves_ you," Serena replies, her brow creasing. "I mean seriously, B?"

Blair turns to look at Serena when the blonde reaches out and grasps her wrist. "What?" she asks irritably. "The last time I checked, you weren't my mother, Serena. It's none of your business what I do, and more importantly, _who_ I do." "If it's hurting someone I love, then yes, it is my business," Serena argues. "And you're hurting yourself, and Nate."

"Nate isn't going to find out," Blair says through her teeth.

"Do you think he's _stupid_? With Gossip Girl around, you think it'll stay a secret?" Serena's inches away from smacking some sense into Blair and Blair feels the hand on her wrist tug away sharply before Serena gains control and puts it back again. "Goddamn it, B, get a fucking vibrator and get over it."

Blair wants to laugh, but it doesn't fit the situation.

"He came inside of me," she says quietly, staring straight ahead and biting her lip. She untangles her wrist from Serena's grasp and reaches for the blonde's hand, clenching it tightly.

"What?" asks Serena, her voice turning softer.

"Chuck wasn't wearing a condom, and he came. Inside. Of me."

"Holy shit, B."

Blair stands up, beginning to pace in front of the bed. Serena sits quietly and stares at her, unsure if she should stop the brunette or continue to let her mutter to herself.

"What the hell am I going to do, Serena?" Blair asks, her voice high with fear. "I could be pregnant. With _Chuck Bass's _baby." His name passes through her lips in a hiss. She should never have been so stupid.

"Well if, if you are then…" Serena's hesitant on what to say; she's not sure if Blair wants her to completely agree with her (which she does), or point out the ways in which this could possibly (maybe, but probably not) be good. She decides to go for the latter.

"Maybe it won't be so bad, B. I mean… babies are cute, right?" It's a lame attempt, and they both know it. They also both know that Blair. _Hates_. Children.

"His _baby_, Serena!" Blair screeches, bringing her fingers up and pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Serena stands up, going to stand in front of Blair and hold her by her arms. "Just calm down," she soothes gently, reaching up to comfortingly smooth Blair's hair. "Let's think rationally about this, before you go all crazy on me."

"I am thinking rationally!" Blair insists, her wide eyes focusing on Serena. "His fucking _baby_! It'll come out a monster, just like its father!"

"B-"

"It'll probably try to push its way out and tear through me from the inside, like that baby in that motherfucking vampire book!"

"Blair."

"It's probably going to want to bang the first thing it sees when it comes out of me!"

"_BLAIR_!"

Blair stops and stares at Serena, alarmed by her abrupt loudness.

"Calm the fuck down. Please." Serena leads her back to the bed, pulling the brunette down next to her. "Just… let's not worry about it yet, okay?" she tries to make her voice sound light and cheery, pasting a hopeful smile on her face. "When are you due for your next period?"

"In a week," Blair replies, her voice miserable and dripping with distaste. Chuck was literally still _inside_ of her.

"Let's not think about it until then." She leans back, pulling Blair with her until they're both lying in a tangled heap against the soft satin of Serena's bed. She pulls the covers up around them, forcing the thought that Blair and Chuck just fucked here out of her head, "Remember when we used to just lie together and talk, or watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Blair nods. "Let's just talk, okay? Like old times." She turns on her side, facing Blair, and props her head up on her elbow.

"What about Chuck?" Blair asks, her voice flat.

"He'll get the idea that he's done here, and then he'll leave."

"_Or_," counters Blair, ready to assume the worst, "he'll see us in here snuggling and be ready for a second round." She sighs as she stares at the ceiling. "I have to give him props for his stamina."

"Ew, B," Serena whines.

"Sorry," replies Blair, but she doesn't sound it.

"How are things in your life going?" Serena asks, trying to keep the conversation moving away from Chuck and the possibility of a mini-him growing inside Blair's womb.

"Well…" Blair's reluctant to let the subject go, and it's clear in her voice. She turns to Serena, not able to resist smiling at the blonde's earnest grin. "My mom has been being a total bitch to me lately. And she's not even on her period or anything."

Serena laughs grandly, her fingers tangling in Blair's hair and running through it softly. She's ready to be here for Blair; she wants to share the responsibilities Blair will have to deal with if it turns out she is pregnant, the grief and surprise and _fear_. Blair is her best friend, and Serena's ready for any extra baggage she carries along.

She leans down and presses a kiss to Blair's cheek, her smile growing. "Tell me all about it."

**Awh. I had to throw a little friendship-y Waldsen in there:)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Chuck," Blair says, sitting down on Chuck's couch and primly smoothing out her skirt. "I think we need to have a little talk."

Chuck stares at her, the confusion on his face barely masked. He's still trying to figure out why a second ago he was pouring himself a glass of Scotch and then he turned around to Blair Waldorf stomping into his penthouse. He takes a sip of his drink, still watching her wearily. It isn't usual for them to talk; it's usual for them to quickly meet up, have sex, and then go their separate ways until next time. Chuck and Blair don't _talk_.

"Look," he begins slowly, sauntering towards her. Once he's within 5 feet of the brunette she holds up a hand, making him stop short, and then promptly points for him to have a seat in the armchair directly across from her. Chuck gives her a look, but then goes to do what she says. After a minute he waves his glass at her. "Well? Go on. Talk."

"This is a serious issue that I'm about to discuss with you," she begins solemn faced, and Chuck is already rolling his eyes. He's not accustomed to "serious issues", and anyway, Blair's "serious issues" are shit like she broke a heel or spilled something on her new blouse.

"Despite what you _may_ think," he drawls, "I am not interested at the moment in the trials and tribulations of the Blair Waldorf lifestyle. I do not need to hear about how your last outfit was ruined or how you and Serena had a catfight the other night."

"No, no, no," Blair protests, shaking her head. "It's nothing like that. This is serious, Chuck."

Chuck rolls his eyes again, settling back into the chair. "Go on," he says again, his tone bored.

"The other day, when you and I..." she trails off, biting her lip and glancing away.

"When we fucked," Chuck finishes, taking another sip. "When we had sex. When we screwed. When I stuck my-"

"Yes," Blair hisses lowly, "when we did _that_. When we engaged in that _activity_, I seem to remember that you, Chuck Bass, did _not_ pull out of me when you ejaculated." Her voice lowers, becoming slightly less impersonal. "I _told_ you about that, Chuck."

"Indeed you did," Chuck agrees, nodding. He shrugs. "I was in the heat of the moment, Blair, you know. I saw Serena look in and I wasn't exactly thinking about where my cum was going, just that it needed to go somewhere-"

"God, Chuck," hisses Blair angrily. "You have to think about that stuff! Oh my god, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you put on a condom before we started? Are you really that _stupid_?"

"Wait a minute now." Chuck holds up a hand, insulted. "I don't remember you suggesting any sort of protection, little Miss Innocent. Aren't you on the pill or something?"

"No, Chuck, I'm not! And because of your lack of common sense to use the proper protection, we may quite possibly have a little "us" running around here in nine months!"

Chuck grimaces at the thought of that. He does not like kids. Especially kids that could turn out like Blair. That could turn out like him. _He_ doesn't even like himself.

"Yeah, you bastard, the thought's not so appealing is it?" Blair spits. "Imagine how I feel."

"Well it _is_ your fault," Chuck responds. "You know I like to do it raw, it was your job to remind be that you prefer it done with a condom." He chuckles. "But oh, wait a minute. As _I_ recall, you were too busy moaning and pulling me on top of you to register that fact."

"I certainly was not," protests Blair loudly, raising her chin defiantly. "Don't make me out to be a whore, Bass."

"But that's what everyone will think of you," he says bluntly, raising an eyebrow. "And you know it. Getting pregnant so young? Already a negative. But add on the fact that it's not your boyfriend's." Chuck's eyes gleam as he thinks about the trouble a potential pregnancy could cause for Blair. "And then add on the fact that it's mine, and everyone will know you slept with me and cheated on Nate."

Blair swallows. "You're enjoying this," she states, eying him. "You asshole."

Chuck shrugs. "The only thing you can do is hope that it doesn't happen. If it does, you might as well enjoy it too." He smiles and licks his lips. "Unless you plan to abort it."

"I would _never_," Blair replies, disgusted. But the thought has crossed her mind, and she's not so sure if it's left yet.

"Well start smiling, Waldorf," Chuck drawls.

Blair stands up, smoothing down her hair and turning on her heel. "I'll be in touch."

She hears Chuck laugh as she struts away.

* * *

"So where'd you have to go?" Nate asks Blair as they lay together in her bed, face to face.

She forces herself not to look away, because even though Nate's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, he might still pick up on the fact that she's lying if she acts all fidgety and won't look him in the eye.

"I had to go see Serena," she replies, forcing a smile. "Just to talk."

Nate nods and Blair lets out a breath. She really does love him, believe it or not, but sometimes he's just so goddamn _gullible_ and Blair thinks that if he wasn't maybe she wouldn't be doing what she's doing to him.

But she probably would be.

He links their fingers together, and Blair glances down at them, wondering when everything became so fucked up. At first, Nate was all she ever wanted, and when he had sex with Serena, Blair had felt like her life was over. Ever since they were kids, Blair was the princess and Nate was supposed to be the prince and they were supposed to fall in love and live happy ever supposedly-after. All she wanted was for him to choose her. But then Nate _did_ choose her and he got boring, and Blair wanted something else. That something else just happened to be Chuck Bass.

"I love you," Nate says to her quietly, and Blair still gets butterflies when he says it. When he looks at her the way he's looking at her, Blair feels light and happy and giggly. She feels invincible. When Chuck looks at her, she feels dirty and shameful and wrong. But she still goes back.

Nate squeezes her hand in his lightly, and she starts comparing his touch to Chuck's, how Nate's is soft and loving and Chuck's his rough and demanding. Blair hates that she's constantly comparing them to each other, because she knows which one will usually win, but it never changes her mind.

Chuck only wins in one category; the sex.

"I love you too," she says finally, the words feeling slow and sticky like syrup as she forces them out of her mouth. It's not a lie; she does love him. But she feels wrong for telling him she does when she's cheating on him.

He pulls her on top of him so she's straddling him, leaning up and pressing their lips together. She groans into his mouth; even though Nate is _not_ anything special in bed, he's an excellent kisser. He reaches under her skirt to cup her through her panties, and Blair thrusts her hips forward. It's not that Nate's _horrible_ at sex.

He's just not _Chuck_.


End file.
